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My Bad

I wrote this 9 years ago: "Good Morning! I was talking with God this morning about being so overwhelmed with people and their needs that I'm not able to enjoy the great things going on in my life. I apologized because I've been in tougher spots and had joy way before there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I know better than to let circumstances dictate my mood. In the end, God reminded me there's a lot more good than bad. I agreed and said the bad is just more persistent in its revealing. Don't let the persistence of the negative influence your spirit. Be Blessed Everyone!" I think we all can agree the last 2+ years have created the opportunity to see a lot more bad than good. However, for some this was their time of plenty. I don't think it was because they didn't have it as bad or because the government was giving them money. I believe it was more because it was their time and/or they refused to focus on what they could see. That doesn't make anyone better. It just sheds light on what we choose to focus on. Honestly, I started 2020 deciding things should change and by the end of 2020, God forced them to change because of my prayers. I don't believe my year would have been any different in 2020. I was miserable at a job that allowed me to see all my sides and drained my energy. I thought I had the opportunity to make a lot of money if I disciplined myself and was silently struggling with how horrible I felt the majority of the time. I made some great friends at work, so for a while, I was able to let that be enough. In July though, that all changed. A few people who I truly cared deeply for died and it was my Dad's birthday month. That's when my switch turned and I don't know it. God had started the execution of my requests. It was time for everything to get better. Until a few months ago, I thought my birth month August was the turning point. After careful reflection though I figured out I didn't start participating until then. My spirit, mind, body, and heart were already putting things in motion. I had come in contact with someone that had Covid and I had to wait on my results. Everyone I told so they could be tested, either got their results before me or at the same time I did. I was home for three weeks waiting to find out I was negative. That was in July. I tried to go back to work because I was essential and I made myself do it a few times. Mostly though, I had this overwhelming feeling of despair and pain. The last time I tried to go to work I was standing at the door inside my home crying because I just couldn't stand the thought of going to work. At that moment, I started participating. It was a week before my birthday in August.

Once I knew I couldn't go back, I talked to the most dedicated person I knew at the job. She was always motivating me to come to work. When I told her what happened she said it's time for you to leave. It took me six weeks to get a new job. I also started therapy. I called out every day and finally gave my notice in December. Not once did I miss the money because I was finally going to work daily. I'm grateful for that job and when it was time for me to leave I created my exit plan and found a new job that allows me to handle my business and plan for the future. My current job allows me to have time to focus on my goals. I have energy again and I'm able to spend more time with my loved ones. I had a few setbacks and used them to learn. I've chosen to grow through them and share my experiences with those closest to me. As a result, I'm crossing off things on my 2022 list and helping others achieve their personal and business goals. I'm heartbroken and joyful at the same time, yet determined to keep participating in the plan God and I agreed upon. We had a discussion a few months ago about a few things and He let me know that all my heartbreak isn't about me. I needed to hear that. I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be and that's alright because I'm getting closer. I love watching my progress and cheering for those that have been able to make huge strides as entrepreneurs. I've been at this for a while and I know sooner than later I'll be making those same huge strides. It won't be handed to me and I'm good with that. In the meantime, I'm going to keep enjoying my progress and pay more attention to the good. I'm glad I got the reminder of a conversation I had with God on June 6th, 2013. "Good Morning! I was talking with God this morning about being so overwhelmed with people & their needs that I'm not able to enjoy the great things going on in my life. I apologized because I've been in tougher spots and had joy way before there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I know better than to let circumstances dictate my mood. In the end, God reminded me there's a lot more good than bad. I agreed & said the bad is just more persistent in its revealing. Don't let the persistence of the negative influence your spirit. Be Blessed Everyone!" It confirms my present state of mind and has allowed me to share with others. Stay Blessed! Cherae Owner of C L Miles Consulting, Inc

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